I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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