i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
