Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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