Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize