I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize