And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize