Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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