Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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