stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
