you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
