i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
