I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
