STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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