Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
