Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
