Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
