I puked a lego.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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