Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize