I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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