i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
