All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
