some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
