Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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