I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
