It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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