Porn is love you can see.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
