Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Randomize
