you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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