used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
