Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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