i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
