let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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