But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
