Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I need to calm my uterus...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Someone signed my nipple.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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