Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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