I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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