Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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