How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
