She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
