I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
