Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
