I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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