I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
