Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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