I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
