Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
