I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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