I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
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