I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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