Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He uses pillows to masturbate.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize