You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
