oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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