He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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