so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
