I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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