I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
