i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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