So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
