i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
